Stuff I Ate

Hey everyone. I hope you are well and that you had a good week. Things are about the same here, still cycling through emotions and still crying every day. It comes in waves and I am certainly able to fondly remember the memories we do have but that typically is followed by the intense grief over the memories we never got to make. I have been making more of an effort to eat better and take care of myself. I feel a little lost but I know he will help guide me forward and I've still be working really hard to continue on the path that he had inspired me to take.

I've been eating a lot more fresh food this week and it definitely feels better. We should definitely be going to Aldi this weekend so we'll see what kinds of stuff I pick up. I will definitely be sure to share that with you on Tuesday.

I love fresh fruit during the summer so this container of cantaloupe and strawberries was delicious and refreshing.

I brought this for lunch one day. My standard dolma, roasted veg, fresh veg and hummus with a peach on the side.

I made a pizza for dinner using the pizza crust from Trader Joe's that you saw in my last haul. It was really good and came together so quickly. 

I had my weekly pumpernickel bagel with entirely too much tofu spread 😂 I always save the extra and use it later, it works out pretty well.

Another container of fruit, this time grapes and strawberries. Also delicious.

This dinner was super delicious and a little random. I had some dolmas, roasted veggies and hummus with some tots on the side. So good.

I wish I could give you a source credit for this but a friend of mine posted it on FB with no source. It really resonated with me right now so I just wanted to share it.

I've learned this week that sunglasses are your best friend with your eyes are perpetually puffy from random bouts of crying. You can't tell that I'm actually a mess under there 😂

That's all I have for you today. I'll be back Tuesday with an Aldi haul. I hope you all enjoy your weekend and do all kinds of fun summer things. I have no idea what I'll do this weekend but I do think some self care is going to have to be on the agenda.

Trader Joe's Haul, Stuff I Ate and Some Art

Hey everyone. I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was ok, as ok as it can be right now I suppose. My mom pushed back our Aldi trip to next weekend so I just went to trader Joe's to pick up a few things so I could eat some fresh food this week. I have that haul along with some delicious meals I've been eating. As a quick update, I'm still struggling. I miss him every second of every day. It's very difficult to go from having someone that became such a huge part of my life (we literally were in communication from the minute we woke up (often before 5am) until the minute we went to sleep (while we were both available of course… but it added up to hours every day) to never hearing from them again. I'm still working on living in his honor so I submitted an application to volunteer for my local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) as mental health/illness is my platform that I am most passionate about (another thing that we had in common). I am hoping to hear back from them so I can get involved in any way that I can. My next goal is to get in some more self care time by myself. Before he came along I was alone all of the time and it became my comfort zone. Now I fear being alone but I know that I need some time to myself to do something that brings me comfort and joy.

All that said, I have a lot of images to show you today. I have my Trader Joe's haul, a little meal prep, some stuff I ate and a piece of art I created.

For produce I got some strawberries (finally!), an onion, eggplant, zucchini, baby carrots, grape tomatoes and sliced mushrooms.

For groceries I got two cans of dolmas, Mediterranean hummus, tots, the pizza crust I've heard a lot about, sliced almonds for oatmeal, inner peas, sunbutter cups and marshmallows.

I got the veggies to roast and eat with hummus. I roasted up the mushrooms, onion and eggplant with some black pepper and garlic powder and I love this mix with hummus and some fresh veggies and dolmas. I was supposed to add the zucchini but when I was cutting it I didn't like how slimy it felt so I just didn't feel comfortable using it. I actually really like this combination without it so it all worked out.

I made myself a little flatbread sandwich of roasted veggies and hummus with a side of some tots. This was such a simple but delicious meal.

I also made a little lunch plate of roasted and fresh veggies, dolmas and hummus. So tasty.

My dad kindly got me some watermelon and grapes so I had this to snack on throughout the day as well.

Another simple meal of Morningstar Nuggets and some corn.

This is the lunch I prepared for myself today. I made a bento box with my Monbento box with some roasted veggies, dolmas, hummus, carrots, tomato and grapes. It's going to be delicious.

The last piece of art I created I made the night Doug passed away. I was lucky enough that I shared it with him after I made it, so he saw it before the accident. Needless to say, I haven't felt very inspired to create since. Over the weekend I felt that creating a piece for him may be cathartic for me so I made a mini (4x4) canvas for him. I wanted to make a bigger piece but I didn't know how it would go or how I would feel so I stuck with a small one.

I thought this sentiment was perfect for how I felt about him. We waited for each other. We were not in each other's life for long but the impact that we made on each other was huge and we both knew that we had a beautiful future ahead of us. I wanted to include the butterfly because he was the catalyst of my metamorphosis. I'm a completely different person than I was before I met him. I will carry that with me forever but the pain that I have knowing that he won't be here with me to see the transformation still hurts me to my core.

I'm sorry to end this on a depressing note but I am sure it will be difficult for a while. As I continue to grieve and process I will also be moving forward with my life and working toward achieving my goals as I know he would want me to. I will continue to miss him and honor him as best as I can. And part of that is eating awesome vegan food because I know that we would be doing a lot of that together. I can't wait to share that with you.

I hope you all have a great week and I will see you on Friday. 💚

Stuff I Ate

Hey guys. This post is going to be short because I only managed to take 2 pictures. I haven't been eating well or consistently so I haven't really thought much about photographing it. I am still struggling. I miss him every day and I still cry every single day. It is going to take time but I'm doing the best I can. It's almost the weekend thankfully and I do have some things planned that will hopefully be a good distraction. I'm going to take a ride out to Aldi with my mom so I can buy some proper groceries (it's been a while) with some fresh food especially and I am going to be really doing a thorough cleaning of my space. I have a lot of clutter from old projects I worked on and books that I'm donating and things like that so I really want to get my space cleared out. I still haven't been able to bring myself to create any art. The last piece I made was completed on the night he passed. I haven't felt particularly creative since.

Anyway, here are the two meals I managed to photograph:

This was a dinner that I had of some Field Roast mini corn dogs, some tots and some corn.

This was a bagel from a different bagel store (they have the BEST bagels - don't judge the appearance, this one just looks a little squished) with some Tofu Spread and it was good. Of course it was entirely too much spread so I took out a lot of it but it was a damn good meal.

And that's it for today. Hopefully we do get to Aldi so I can show you a haul on Tuesday. I hope you all have a good weekend and I'll see you next week. 💚

Good Food and Better Company

Hey everyone. I was debating whether I'd post this today but I figure why not. I'm still cycling through grief and it will take a while but I think it is time for me to come back and start posting again. I may not post every Tuesday and Friday but I will do the best that I can for now. As I've mentioned, I know he would want me to keep going out and to keep trying new places and new things.

I feel incredibly blessed to have such an amazing support system. I have a lot of amazing support online through my blog and through some groups that I participate in. I have wonderful people around me in person as well that have been really amazing about making sure that I am doing ok and listening to me. I was lucky enough to get together with two of my favorite people this weekend. I am so grateful to both of them for listening to me and for allowing me to introduce them to Doug the only way I can now… by letting me talk and tell them all about him and us and the whole story. I know that he would have loved them.

On Saturday night I got together with my best friend of 20 years. We decided to go to a restaurant called Little Fu's in Hewlett, NY. I put out a call for recommendations in the Vegan Long Island group on Facebook and Little Fu's was recommended a few times and Doug had mentioned it as well so we chose to go there. They had a large "Vegetarian" (mostly vegan) section that included tofu and veggie dishes but also a lot of mock meat dishes as well. I chose the Veg Sesame Chick'n dish after double checking that it was vegan and it was good you guys. So so good. I liked the texture of their mock meat and as you can tell it was a very generous portion. I actually the a solid portion of it here for lunch today as well. The service was great and we had to wait like 2 minutes for them to get the table ready at 6:45 on a Saturday night so it wasn't bad at all. I will definitely come back here to try more of their fun dishes. 

As great as the food was, the company was better. My friend does not live in NY anymore so we don't get to see each other as much as we would like but it's always so wonderful when we are able to get together. I feel incredibly grateful to have her in my life and lucky to be able to call her my friend.

Yesterday (Monday) afternoon I met up for lunch with another friend of mine. We decided to go to Bareburger in Great Neck, NY. They have quite a few locations but this one was pretty easy to get to so we chose this one. Bareburger has a full vegan menu in addition to their regular menu and includes all kinds of burgers, hot dogs/sausages, sides and milkshakes. I got "The Original" and swapped the Impossible Burger for the Beyond Burger. It also included Follow Your Heart American Cheese, pickles and sautéed onions. I opted out of the special sauce because I always assume it is mayo based and I just can't with that. We shared a small side of waffle fries as well. I love how they  specify the vegan burger with the cute little heart! The burger was awesome. I've actually never tried the Beyond or Impossible burger before but I wanted to try the Beyond Burger first, hence the switch. This was good you guys. I was really surprised by how authentic it tasted but not so authentic that it creeped me out. The waffle fries were also an awesome choice. I really wanted to try a vegan milkshake but I just knew I'd never be able to consume all of that and I'm not paying $8-$10 for a shake that I'm not going to drink. I will definitely go back when my appetite is better and try one though because the Mint Chocolate one is calling my name. 

Just like Saturday, as amazing as the meal was the company was even better. As I've mentioned time and time again, I'm so lucky to have really amazing friends. I may not have a wide circle but I prefer to have a few people that I'm very close with that a ton of acquaintances. We also spoke a lot about Doug and I was happy to be able to "introduce" him to her as best as I could. Seeing her was good for my soul and it reinforces my determination to continue to reach out and stay connected when sometimes all I want to do is withdraw and protect myself from further loss.

So what I assumed would be a short post turned into a fairly long winded one but I hope that you enjoyed seeing some great vegan food and reading a little bit about my weekend. I'd like to take another second to thank you all again for your continued kindness and support. It truly means the world to me and has really helped during a dark time. I am continuing to grieve but will also honor him as best as I can. 💚

New Tattoos

As you can imagine this week has been pretty difficult. I'm still not ready to get back to regular posting but I did have something I wanted to share with you.

For the past two years or so I have wanted to get a wave and mountain tattoo. I always made excuses not to get them but over the past week and a half I've come to realize that tomorrow is never a guarantee and that I need to stop waiting to do the things I want to do. So on Monday I scheduled and appointment for Wednesday and I got my tattoos. I apologize in advance for the wonky pictures, I took them myself and they are on my wrists so you can imagine how that worked out for me.

The wave is on my right wrist. It symbolizes strength and I figured now would be the perfect time to have this constant reminder to be strong and carry on no matter what. I decided to add the Pisces constellation above it to honor a few important people in my life. One is going through the fight of her life right now and battling cancer in the most brave and graceful way. The other was the man that swept into my life and saved me. No, we were not together long but the impact that he made on my life was great and I want to have that reminder when things get hard and when I am tempted to revert back into my old ways. He brought me back into the light and I am determined to stay here.

I have the mountain range on my left wrist with the Virgo constellation above it. I am the Virgo and I relate very much to my sign and feel a strong connection to it. The mountains represent obstacles in life. While my life has not been the worst it has definitely been difficult. I have to fight mental illness every single day of my life and will continue to do so until the day I die. I've just lost someone that I cared very deeply for in the most tragic and senseless way. Obstacles will always be there but I have that strength to overcome them.

I chose to represent myself and the other people in my life through the zodiac constellations because astrology is something I have always had an interest in. It is one of the many things I shared in common with Doug (we had the same nerdy ass book - I don't know anyone else that had that book) and I thought it was perfect. I am so thrilled with how the tattoos came out and really glad that I decided to just finally go and get them.

That's all I have to share today. I'm still not sure when I'll be back with regular content but I will be soon. Like I said, he would want me to proceed and share awesome vegan food. He would want me to go and try new places because that was what we were going to do together. I will do so in his honor. I just need a little more time.

For Doug

This was not the post I was supposed to write. I was supposed to write the post about how I found an amazing vegan man who swept me off my feet. The man whose values closely aligned with mine and came out of nowhere. My dining companion at the amazing dinner at Zen Garden that I shared a few days ago. I was going to introduce you to my potential new vegan partner that I had waited 35 years for. Things were going well. We were happy and moving toward a beautiful relationship. Instead, I have to share with you the man who was taken from me WAY WAY too soon.

I can't get into details now because it is still too raw. I found out Wednesday that this amazing man that taught me in a very short period of time how to love and be loved and that I deserve happiness was taken from me far too soon due to a completely tragic accident. I am completely brokenhearted. I can only imagine the amazing things the future held. He was kind, compassionate, passionate, empathetic, caring, intelligent and fascinating. He made this world a better place and he made my life better for the short while he was in it. Our connection was quick and it was deep. He made me happy and I know I made him happy.

My heart is broken. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I think I need to take a little time to grieve and get through this. I will be back though because that is what he would want. He was an activist to his core, always fighting for what he believed in. He wouldn't want me to stop reaching for my goals and I owe it to him to keep fighting.

I will be back soon. 💚

Zen Garden Restaurant Great Neck, NY

Hey you guys! I hope you are all doing well and had an amazing weekend! I had a really nice weekend that was fun and social! I went out both Saturday and Sunday night which is kind of a big thing for me. On Saturday I went to a really amazing all vegetarian/mostly vegan restaurant called Zen Garden in Great Neck, NY. On Sunday I met up with friends that were in town for Book Con in the city. It was really really nice to see everyone and I'm really glad that I was able to deal with my anxiety and go out and enjoy a really fun weekend.

Of course I have some food to share! I forgot to take a pic from Sunday but I had a vegan stuffed mushroom (it was stuffed with spinach and asparagus) that came with a little side salad. It was delicious and it was nice to have a vegan option on the menu. I do have photos to share from Zen Garden though!

It was my second time going to Zen Garden (the first time was for lunch thought) and my dining companion's first. I ended up getting one of the specials which was the General Tso's Tofu and Eggplant. It was AMAZING you guys. It had a really nice crunch and a super flavorful sauce. The fresh broccoli was perfect with it. I really enjoyed this dish and would absolutely get it again.

We decided to split a dessert and got a piece of red velvet cake. You guys. YOU GUYS. IT WAS SO. FUCKING. GOOD. The flavor was amazing, the texture was amazing, you'd NEVER know it was vegan. I rarely ever get dessert at a restaurant but I'm glad we decided to go for it. A really cool detail is that it is colored with beet juice and beet powder rather than dye and I love that. Seriously a perfect piece of cake.

The portion for dinner was HUGE you guys. I brought home the leftovers and had dinner Monday night...

…and I have lunch for today! I added some jasmine rice to fill it out and it's perfect. It's obviously not as good as when it was fresh in the restaurant but still really delicious.

I really like this restaurant. The decor is beautiful, the ambiance is nice, the servers are personable and knowledgable and the owners are so sweet. The food has been delicious both times I've gone. The only thing I'll say is that the pace of your meal is definitely very leisurely. The service is on the slower side but I feel like it is on purpose. I really enjoy it there and don't mind a longer dinner there. We spent a while talking to the owner and she was wonderful and we learned that they just started weekend brunch which is really exciting! Hopefully I'll be able to get back there soon! For anyone in the area, I highly recommend Zen Garden.

I figured since I was here and had this stuff to share I'd add it to this post!

I was at my brother's house on Memorial Day and they had this Taco Inspired Hummus by Sabra. Of course I was intrigued so I had to try it and OMG you guys. It's really good! They found it at Target so I popped over to Target yesterday to see if they still had any. They had 2 containers left so I snagged them both! I am set for hummus for a bit 😃

Finally, what kind of Tuesday post would this be without my obligatory weekly pumpernickel bagel with (way too much) Tofu spread. So good, as always.

So that's it for today! I hope that you are all well and having a great week! I'll check back in with you on Friday with some more yummy eats!