I'm Back? Maybe? Kind Of?

Whoa. It's been a long time. Like a really long time. I'm sorry about that. I know it kind of sucks that I disappeared without saying a word. It was never my intention to do that. I fully intended on posting and coming back. Then the holiday season popped up and it sucked. Then January rolled around and it felt like it took forever. I started a new job that I originally hated. I also was just going out and living my life and being in the moment. It's been a weird, amazing and painful few months and I think I just needed some time off to process everything. I'm happy to say that while things suck right now (I'll get into that in a second) I'm doing ok and I've been missing you guys a lot and felt like it was time to come back. I'm sorry that I have not been keeping up with your blogs. That sucks and I'm really sorry. I am looking forward to catching up though. I also just want to say thank you to everyone that has reached out to me during this hiatus to check in. I really appreciate it and it means a lot that you care enough to take the time to do that. Thank you 💚

So here is a bit of an update on life. As I mentioned above, I started a new job at the end of December. I am doing insurance verification for a Physical Therapy office. I really hated it at first. I felt very stupid because it was just so confusing and so much to learn. Now that I've settled into it I feel better about it and a lot more confident. Of course now that the shit has hit the fan and we are in a global pandemic things have changed a bit. I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to work from home starting two weeks ago. Unfortunately like many other businesses they've had to make a lot of cuts and while I'm one of few to still be lucky enough to have my job, I've been cut to part time for now. It's definitely a financial hit but nowhere near as bad as it could be so I'm counting my blessings that I still have a job and a paycheck and that I get to work from home. I work out of my brother's basement where he has an office set up and it's been working out well. Otherwise, as instructed, I "stay the fuck home."

The pandemic has been an emotional nightmare. As someone that struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder it is my everyday existence magnified by about a million. Add into the fact that I basically live in one of the hardest hit places in the country, the idea of leaving my house, touching anything, eating any food, etc. is absolutely horrifying. I'm living out of the pantry. The only thing I've done is place an order for pick up at the vegan market/bakery because I know they are being careful and they aren't letting people in. It's been a nightmare. As of writing this post there are 13,356 confirmed cases in my COUNTY. It's seriously awful and it feels like the apocalypse. How are you all coping with this? I hope that you are all safe and feeling ok.

As I mentioned, I haven't take a whole lot of pictures during this hiatus. I have a few I'll share a few random ones below and in my next post I'll share some pictures from an amazing meal that I had at a restaurant that I had been wanting to try for so long. I will also do a post with some art that I've created over the past few months as well.

These first two pictures are from an afternoon out with my friends before the pandemic. I want to say it was in January. We went to a restaurant that wasn't super vegan friendly but they had this amazing dish on the menu! I think I just had to leave off some cheese and then I had this really fresh, amazing meal. There was farro under all of the goodies and on top there was black beans, chickpeas, tomato, corn and avocado. 

After we went for brunch we went and painted pottery and had such a great time! We went back 3 weeks later to pick up what we had painted and I'm so thrilled with how mine came out. They even had it displayed in the window!

As I mentioned I've been working out of my brother's basement. My colleague here has not been pulling his weight. I've been thinking about reporting him to HR 😂

I mean seriously!

As I mentioned I'll be doing a post with some art that I've created over the past few months but I wanted to share two pieces today. They are both birthday gifts that I have made over the past month and I'm thrilled with how they came out. I tried to make them really personal and both recipients really loved them.

They are totally different vibes and I really love them both. 

Finally, here are two photos of me from the past few months.

Just so you know I'm truly ok 💚

I've really missed you all and I'm glad to be back. To explain the title of this post, the maybe kind of is really because I'm not comfortable committing to a specific number of posts per week or any specific days I'll be posting. I don't want to put pressure on myself and lets be honest, things are just weird in the world right now. But I'm here and I'm excited to start sharing with you again.

Please let me know how you have all been!

Catching Up

Hey everyone. I hope that you are all doing ok. I can assure you that it was not my intention to take a break. The reality is that things have not been great here and blogging was just the last thing on my mind. I have a lot going on and I just didn't have it in me to keep up with this right now. Things keep piling up and I am just incredibly depressed right now. The odd thing is that I've been keeping up with my social obligations that I've made. I'm trying to get out and not withdraw. It's difficult because all I want to do is be home in my bed but I go out. It's nice to spend time with friends but I just feel empty inside right now. Long story short, I'm struggling.

During my hiatus I've taken some photos of some meals that I've enjoyed with friends and a random Whole Foods haul. I figured I'd pop in and update you on where I've been and share the pics.

A few weeks ago a group of us went to Golden Star in Medford, NY. They have an extensive vegan menu and I started with an unpictured wonton soup (omg so good) and this is the vegan pork with broccoli. This is not something I would normally get but for whatever reason I went for it. It looked so realistic it was kind of crazy but it was actually really good and I'm glad I went outside of what I would normally get and tried something new.

This beauty has been a staple meal for me. It is a Greek style salad with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, Violife Feta and stuffed grape leaves. I dressed it with some red wine vinegar and pepper and it was delicious. I eat this quite a bit.

This is part one of my Whole Foods haul. I got some Earth Balance Cheddar Squares, Skinny Pop everything bagel mini popcorn cakes, key lime larabars (my fav flavor and so hard to find), a vegan chocolate chip scone and some bagels.

I went to Whole Foods because their Violife cheese was on sale big time. I got the feta and cheddar slices for $3.99 each and decided to try the WFs brand shredded mozzarella. I got two mango kombuchas and hummus as well. I tried to show some restraint and I think I did ok.

Up next was another meal at Little Fu's. My friend and I decided to grab a late lunch (which turned into dinner - we were there for like 3 hours 😳😬) and got a few dishes to share. We got the vegan pepper steak (I just had the onions and "steak"), chick'n with broccoli and veggie lo mein.

I also went back to That Pizza Place with my friends and brought some slices home to keep in the freezer. Here we have a broccoli mac n cheese slice, eggplant parm slice and 2 plain slices.

This is the only slice I've had so far but omg isn't it a beauty? This goes against everything I believe in, ha. I don't typically eat pasta and I really don't like pasta on my pizza but it looked so good I had to try it and OMG is it good. I make an exception for this. They added tons of garlic which was delicious and they make a cashew based cheese sauce which is delicious. It's so so good.

 

This was an Asian Chopped salad that I topped with a chick'n patty from Aldi's. Super delicious and a very quick, easy meal.

A friend of mine was helping out with a fundraiser for rescue pups and I offered to donate a piece of art for the raffle. I made this piece and I'm so thrilled with how it came out. I decided to customize it and add special details to make it more appropriate for the event and it turned out perfectly.

So that is the update I have for you right now. I am sorry I haven't been keeping up with your blogs but I will catch up soon. I'm not sure when my next post will be but hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. I hope that you are all doing ok .💚

Trader Joe's Haul, Stuff I Ate and Some Art

Hey everyone. I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was ok, as ok as it can be right now I suppose. My mom pushed back our Aldi trip to next weekend so I just went to trader Joe's to pick up a few things so I could eat some fresh food this week. I have that haul along with some delicious meals I've been eating. As a quick update, I'm still struggling. I miss him every second of every day. It's very difficult to go from having someone that became such a huge part of my life (we literally were in communication from the minute we woke up (often before 5am) until the minute we went to sleep (while we were both available of course… but it added up to hours every day) to never hearing from them again. I'm still working on living in his honor so I submitted an application to volunteer for my local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) as mental health/illness is my platform that I am most passionate about (another thing that we had in common). I am hoping to hear back from them so I can get involved in any way that I can. My next goal is to get in some more self care time by myself. Before he came along I was alone all of the time and it became my comfort zone. Now I fear being alone but I know that I need some time to myself to do something that brings me comfort and joy.

All that said, I have a lot of images to show you today. I have my Trader Joe's haul, a little meal prep, some stuff I ate and a piece of art I created.

For produce I got some strawberries (finally!), an onion, eggplant, zucchini, baby carrots, grape tomatoes and sliced mushrooms.

For groceries I got two cans of dolmas, Mediterranean hummus, tots, the pizza crust I've heard a lot about, sliced almonds for oatmeal, inner peas, sunbutter cups and marshmallows.

I got the veggies to roast and eat with hummus. I roasted up the mushrooms, onion and eggplant with some black pepper and garlic powder and I love this mix with hummus and some fresh veggies and dolmas. I was supposed to add the zucchini but when I was cutting it I didn't like how slimy it felt so I just didn't feel comfortable using it. I actually really like this combination without it so it all worked out.

I made myself a little flatbread sandwich of roasted veggies and hummus with a side of some tots. This was such a simple but delicious meal.

I also made a little lunch plate of roasted and fresh veggies, dolmas and hummus. So tasty.

My dad kindly got me some watermelon and grapes so I had this to snack on throughout the day as well.

Another simple meal of Morningstar Nuggets and some corn.

This is the lunch I prepared for myself today. I made a bento box with my Monbento box with some roasted veggies, dolmas, hummus, carrots, tomato and grapes. It's going to be delicious.

The last piece of art I created I made the night Doug passed away. I was lucky enough that I shared it with him after I made it, so he saw it before the accident. Needless to say, I haven't felt very inspired to create since. Over the weekend I felt that creating a piece for him may be cathartic for me so I made a mini (4x4) canvas for him. I wanted to make a bigger piece but I didn't know how it would go or how I would feel so I stuck with a small one.

I thought this sentiment was perfect for how I felt about him. We waited for each other. We were not in each other's life for long but the impact that we made on each other was huge and we both knew that we had a beautiful future ahead of us. I wanted to include the butterfly because he was the catalyst of my metamorphosis. I'm a completely different person than I was before I met him. I will carry that with me forever but the pain that I have knowing that he won't be here with me to see the transformation still hurts me to my core.

I'm sorry to end this on a depressing note but I am sure it will be difficult for a while. As I continue to grieve and process I will also be moving forward with my life and working toward achieving my goals as I know he would want me to. I will continue to miss him and honor him as best as I can. And part of that is eating awesome vegan food because I know that we would be doing a lot of that together. I can't wait to share that with you.

I hope you all have a great week and I will see you on Friday. 💚

Popping In

Hey you guys! I hope all is well. This week has been chock full of more craziness with more testing and stuff. I am going in for my follow up and full results on Monday but from what it seems so far I have no nerve damage (yay!) but two herniated discs in my neck. I also saw the word myelopathy on the screen with the MRI report but I guess we'll see on Monday. I've been completely drained all week and I'm hoping to be able to catch up a bit on rest this weekend. 

I don't have much to share today but I guess some is better than nothing, right?

On Wednesday I had the testing from 7:00am - 8:30 am so there definitely wasn't much time to do anything in the morning. I decided to take part in Sushi Wednesday and grabbed this beautiful, fresh sushi for $5. Can't go wrong with that.

My dad surprised me with some AMAZING watermelon. I'm shocked by how good it is, especially for this time of year.

I've been trying to be consistent with my art because it has been very therapeutic for me. It is a great distraction from my anxiety and other stuff that I deal with so I've been trying to spend some time every day working on it. This is a teeny tiny mixed media canvas that I made and I really love how it came out. I like working with these little canvases and I think I'm going to grab a bunch more because it is a great, manageable size for me to work with as I'm getting started and learning more about this particular type of art. 

That's all I have for you today! I hope you all have a great weekend! Let me know all of the fun things you have planned in the comments 😃

More Pantry Meals

Hey everyone! Happy Friday! I hope all is well. I'm getting through the week and looking forward to the weekend. I see some decluttering happening in my future for sure. I get into these phases where I look at my stuff and it annoys me and I need to get rid of it. I have a lot of sentimental attachment to things but they just end up taking space so I need to be a little more cutthroat while I declutter. For example, I have makeup that is long expired and it just needs to go. I think the new season of Queer Eye comes out this weekend (maybe today?!) as well so I think that I'm going to be a little lazy and a little productive this weekend.

For today's post I have a few more pantry meals. I've been pretty uninspired lately. There is literally nothing that I want to eat. You know when you just don't crave anything? That's me. I make meals to get food in my stomach but there is nothing that is super satisfying because I just never want anything. Does that happen to you? What do you eat when you feel like that?

Anyway, let's get to the meals!

I had more pizza and this time it was in the form of a pizza bagel. This made me feel like a kid again and was delicious. 

This soup has become a staple meal for me. This one has udon noodles and I decided to store it in a quart sized Chinese Food container. I personally think it looks like it came from a restaurant 😉 It's quick and easy and satisfying and is a good go to meal when you just aren't craving anything.

Lunch one day was a peanut butter sandwich with a banana. Honestly this wasn't really satisfying because I really have to be in the mood for peanut butter (I know, blasphemy) and I definitely was not. 

A ginormous honeycrisp apple. This was very refreshing and I seriously can't wait for summer fruit to be back in season.

I know it's not a ton of meals but that's a good representation of what I've been eating. I had an udon noodle stir fry with frozen veggies in my mind all week but I just haven't wanted to eat it and I didn't want to make it and waste it. I'm sure I'll make it soon enough when I have a craving but it wasn't meant to be this week.

I'm definitely going to have to go shopping this week because I really want some fresh foods in my life. I'll probably do it at H-Mart since the prices are amazing. I'll hopefully have a haul for you on Tuesday!

I hope you have a great weekend. What are your weekend plans? 💜

Haul, Meal Prep and A Few Meals

Hey everyone! I hope you are all well. I just wanted to start off this post by saying thank you so much for your supportive and kind comments that you left on my last post where I spoke a little more candidly about my mental illness. As I mentioned, I always felt the need to separate the mental illness discussion from the vegan food but I know that I don't have to do that any more. I really appreciate this community that we have here and your interest in me and my story beyond the food that I share here. I can't describe how much that means to me 💜

I'm still feeling blah, particularly because last week was very difficult for me physically. Every day I have a headache and every day I'm in pain. The pain over the last week has been particularly intense and I've never really experienced anything like it before.

Due to this I don't have a ton to share with you but I did take pictures where I could. I have a small Trader Joe's haul, some basic food prep and a few meals I ate.

So here is the small Trader Joe's haul. For some reason I was craving those delicious Cornbread Crisps, asparagus, basil, Opal Apples, potatoes, pears, soft pretzels, veggie spring rolls and some carrots.

I made another half batch of Isa's Hummus for Bagels (if you are looking for the recipe it is on the second page of the Hummus recipe in Veganomicon in a little box).

I roasted up some potatoes to heat up during the week. These potatoes nearly caused a meltdown. I was trying to cut them and I just couldn't do it. My arm muscles were in so much pain and I couldn't grip the knife correctly and it was incredibly upsetting that a task as simple as sitting and cutting a few potatoes was so difficult and painful. I struggled through it and now I have these beautiful roasted potatoes to eat but it was pretty upsetting.

I had my second giant honeycrisp apple with my favorite blueberry grape kombucha. I need to try and stockpile of the kombucha because I need more probiotics in my life.

Finally, I made another one of my favorite bagel sandwiches with the hummus and tons of fresh basil and some sun dried tomatoes. It was a perfect meal and very low maintenance and minimal effort. Also as a side note, I rarely like my bagels toasted if they are fresh (which this was) but toasting is essential for this sandwich 😉

So that is what I have for you today. I'll be back on Friday. I'm playing around with a few ideas of what to post so I guess we'll see what I come up with. 

I hope you all have a great week and I'll see you back here on Friday!

Orlando Vacation: Stuff We Did!

Hey everyone! Happy Friday! I hope you all had a great week. I'm ready for the weekend. The week after vacation is always difficult and I'm feeling it for sure. Anyway, I'm back with a fun post where I'll get to re-live all of the awesome things that we did while I was visiting my friend in Orlando! I have a lot of pictures to share so I'll get right into it.

The very first thing that we did on Thursday (my first full day) was head over to Blue Spring State Park early (while it was still chilly) so we could see the Manatees!!!! I took a panoramic picture so you can see just how many there were in this one little section.

The manatees like to go there during the winter when it is cold because the water is 72 degrees all year so they can find warmer waters in the winter month. I felt comfortable going here because they do not allow people to touch, feed or interact with them as it disturbs them so they just allow us to observe them in their natural setting.

For those of you that may be new here, manatees are my absolute favorite animal on earth. They are so sweet, kind, gentle and even playful. They are also freaking adorable and I always have a pretty emotional reaction whenever I am near them. I am so happy that we got to go and see them.

As you can see there were TONS there on that day. I think I heard someone say that there were over 400.

There is a nice little trail you can follow with viewing points along the way. It was a great way to spend the morning and I loved every second of it.

This viewing section allows you to get closer to them (still not close enough to disturb them) so I was able to get this great picture of them really close up.

After we went to the park we popped over to Cassadaga as it was only a short drive away! I have been there before and we always enjoy making a trip over. It is a spiritualist town full of psychics, mediums, spiritualists and have people doing readings, shops where you can pick up crystals, jewelry, cards, books, etc. and a nice area for you to take a walk.

We've been to Cassadaga before but I've never had a reading and I decided that this trip was the trip to do it. I scheduled my reading for 1:00 with April but I actually ended up being rescheduled for 1:30 with Gypsy because April wasn't able to get there in time. They say everything happens for a reason and I'm a firm believer in this because I had an AMAZING reading with Gypsy. I was really overwhelmed by it if I'm being honest. It was also really fun so that was an added bonus.

While we were waiting to have our readings done (my friend went right after me with Gypsy as well) we took a walk around the nice wooded area and I snapped a few pictures there as well.

Another picture from Cassadaga.

After Cassadaga we were both starving and that was the night we went to Loving Hut for dinner. It was a really fun day finished up with the most delicious meal!

The following day we decided to go to the outlets for a little shopping excursion. I took a picture of the Disney Character Warehouse because that was why I chose these particular outlets. I really wanted to see what they had since I had to skip Disney this trip (thanks to my budget, wah!) and it's interesting to see what they have and the prices. I did see a great set of dishes that I loved for only $10 but I decided I just didn't need them so I passed on it.

After the outlet shopping I was exhausted and not feeling great (I was on day 3 of a migraine, had a really bad travel day on Wednesday and a long day Thursday - all in the middle of a Fibromyalgia flare) so we went home and relaxed a little. I cooked dinner that night and made the pasta dish that you saw on Tuesday. It was the perfect meal to make because it came together quickly and required minimal effort.

The next day we met up with our friends for brunch after a quick trip to the farmers market and then decided to pop over to Michael's and Sprouts!! I've never been to Sprouts and have only heard great things. He told me it had opened and I knew I had to check it out! I didn't want to grab a lot but we did grab the Daiya Chocolate Cheezecake (on sale for $6.99!), the Sante Fe Burrito from Daiya, a Live Cola kombucha which I can NEVER find, some trail mix and chocolate almond clusters. I am SO JEALOUS that we don't have a Sprouts!

That night we decided to have a quiet night and the reason why we got the cheezecake was because we were going to play the Golden Girls Monopoly game that was part of my Christmas gift to him this year! We thought it would be hilarious to get the Cheezecake to enjoy while we played and it was perfect. As I mentioned on Tuesday it was so freaking delicious, I can't wait to enjoy it again!

Since I was flying home at sunset on Sunday (I landed at 6:00 because my timing is perfect for Superbowl Sunday 😂) I had to take this picture of the gorgeous sky! It was the perfect sendoff I think.

So that is what we did during my Orlando vacation! Have you ever been to any of these places? I highly recommend all of them, I had a really wonderful time and seeing the manatees was a highlight of my life. It was really magical for me because I love these animals so much.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and I'll see you back here for regularly scheduled programming on Tuesday!