As I mentioned on Tuesday, that night was the first memorial for Doug. It was really nice and a lot of people showed up to honor him and celebrate his life. There was time for mingling and meeting new people and there were speakers there to honor him. Midway through the speakers I was approached and asked if I would like to say anything and I instantly started panicking. All of these speakers had time to prepare and I was on the spot and I am NOT a public speaker. I instantly had anxiety but I knew that if I didn't speak I would never forgive myself to I agreed. I got up on that stage in front of at least 100 people and I spoke off the cuff and from the heart. I was terrified and it was not polished (I lost my words at one point) but it was honest and raw and vulnerable and I'm really glad I pushed through my own fears and discomfort to honor what we had. I know he was proud of me and I'm really proud of myself.
It was pretty late after the event but a group of us decided to go out for some vegan food in honor of Doug. We went to a restaurant that he really loved called PS Kitchen. One of the really nice things about this restaurant is that they donate part of what they make to charity and I know that he really loved that. It was a little sad because we arrived there essentially at the exact time of the accident exactly one month prior. We toasted Doug and enjoyed some great vegan food and company for him. It was really late (they were serving their late night menu) and although I didn't have dinner I went with a caesar salad because anything else would have been quite heavy. The caesar salad was DELICIOUS, the dressing was so yummy and it was a really great choice.
Overall the event was really nice and I met a lot of really amazing, supportive people. I have had people reach out since to make sure that I'm ok and that night I had a lot of people approach me with their condolences. Doug loved connecting people together and I truly believe his last act of service to his loved ones was to bring us all together.
I did have some pretty great meals through the rest of the week as well.
I made a pizza on the Trader Joe's crust and I added a cut up chick'n patty from Aldi to make it like a "chicken parm pizza" and it was SO DELICIOUS. I will definitely do this again.
I tried to be festive for the 4th of July and I had one of the Aldi soy protein burgers (it was very good, not the best I've had but definitely something I'd eat again) with some chips and corn. Also a great meal.
I tried the brownie dessert hummus from Aldi as well and OMG it's SO GOOD. I love it, it's a great way to satisfy a chocolate craving without getting too heavy or decadent. I had it with graham crackers and they were a perfect pairing.
I have been having avocado toast on the sourdough bread from Aldi for breakfast. I have missed eating avocado toast and this avocado was perfect so it was definitely really delicious.
As I mentioned previously, I tried to distract myself from the emotions and the loneliness yesterday by creating some art. I really like the way this one turned out and it was definitely a good distraction for a little while at least.
I really love the sponge painting effect that I've been achieving on my pieces. It's definitely becoming a signature style and I really like it.
I love these colors and quotes as well. I'm very happy with how this piece came out.
So that is all I have for you today. I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend so I can relax and maybe do something fun. I'm not sure what I'll do yet but I know that I have to get out and do something because sitting at home will drive me nuts. I do want to work on some more art as well if I'm feeling the least bit creative. Every day is still a struggle but I'm going to continue to take it one day at a time.
Thank you all so much again for your continued kindness and support. It really means so much to me and I'm so grateful for this community. 💚
6 comments:
Wow, I am so proud of you for speaking at the memorial!! That must have been so incredibly hard, and you're right, he is so happy and proud of you!
The chicken parm pizza looks so good! I used to make eggplant parm pizza and it was definitely a fave. Oh gluten, how I miss you!
Your art is really so beautiful.
The memorial sounds like it was very nice, and how wonderful and brave that you spoke at it, especially since you hadn't expected to! <3
The chicken parm pizza is a great idea, and I'll have to look for the brownie dessert hummus next time I'm at Aldi!
Your art is amazing, and I hope you get to do more this weekend!
You've done many hard and courageous things. Speaking must have been hard but it sounds like it was the best choice.
I love that idea of the pizza with the chick'n patty!
I am so proud of you for speaking. That was such a brave thing to do, and seems like it was the right choice for you at that time. Very strong. <3
You did a very brave thing Tuesday night!! :)
Hillary: Thank you, it was really difficult but I'm glad I did it. He deserved it. The pizza was great, I'm glad I added the chick'n to it. And thank you <3
Julie: It was a beautiful memorial and he deserved all of it. It's still hard to believe he is gone… The hummus is great, definitely check it out if you se it. And thanks <3
The Student-Turned-Doctor: Thank you. I feel myself crumbling. I'm trying to stay strong but it's getting increasingly more difficult.
Susan: Thank you <3 I'm really trying. I knew I needed to honor him and what we had.
Holly: Thank you <3
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